originally written october 2023

as a kid, i used to write my mother poems / they had rhyme schemes and thanked her for things like / driving me to school so i didnt have to walk the half mile / making my favorite thing for dinner because a boy called me ugly / kissing my grass stained knees after falling while playing in the yard / and i called her to tell her that / mom i got another piercing please don’t be mad / and she said it looked cute and that i can make my own choices / and i love her for that but part of me wishes / she had been at least a little disappointed since / piercings are for adults / and i’m still a child right / mom i’m still your child right? / and i’m starting to realize that my home is not my home / it is my fathers home / and i am just a visitor / and one day my mom picked me up for the very last time / and i didn’t even know it / and i keep writing my mother poems / but i don’t always let her see them / because how do i explain that / i want to be her little girl forever / and i just can’t bring myself to understand / how she poured her heart and soul into me / knowing i would leave her in the end