a heartached girl turned incurable nihilist

an existential crisis on a sunday night as told by my google search history:

why is the sky blue / are aliens real / how big is the universe / what is loneliness a symptom of / dogs for adoption near me / do i swallow the turth or spit it out like venom / how far can a car drive after running out of gas / how far can a man run before his legs give out / antonyms for loneliness / synonyms for pain / how to stop the bleeding at home / how many painkillers to take at a time / how to tell where the knife ends / or where the wound begins / 

what is a miracle / what is god / synonyms for love / unconditional meaning / who created god / what is a creation without a creator / what is a universe without a god / or god without a universe / how many planets in the galaxy / how many galaxies in the universe / ufo sightings near me / is bigfoot real / does prayer work / does meditation work / can yearning make you sick / can desire kill you / how to pray / how to be alive / how to believe